


Can I Be The Only Hope For You?

by fandomtothethirteenthpower



Series: When the Day Returned to the Night [2]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Emotional garbage, F/M, Figuring Things Out, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, M/M, Meddling Friends, Romance, Sweet, media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3893539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomtothethirteenthpower/pseuds/fandomtothethirteenthpower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Brendon figure the logistics out on their very new relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Because You're the Only Hope for Me

Brendon had extended his trip in Chicago after the reunion. His thing with Ryan was fragile and new, it needed to be nurtured before he felt comfortable leaving. Thankfully, his schedule wasn't impacted until the beginning of fall, which left plenty of time to waste with Ryan and on their relationship-thing. That's how he was referring to it as. It was a strange mix of knowing everything about each other, but also being completely clueless about one another. It was an interesting dynamic, but Brendon liked it because he was able to learn about this newer, more mature Ryan and figure out his acquired quirks and idiosyncrasies. 

Intimacy was kept to a down low during this learning period, except for small kisses and a brief touch of hands. It was an unspoken agreement. They both didn't want to jump the gun to quick and ruin any progress they had made. Plus, both men were thinking long term and wanted it to mean more than just being a nice fuck. They wanted the sentiment and emotion that went into an actual partnership. Brendon appreciated it, although Ryan had always been long term. They had talked about marriage when they were in high school, and Ryan had no objections to it. If Brendon remembered correctly (which he did), Ryan had said "I'd marry you tomorrow if we were both legal. It's that simple." Brendon remembered his younger self blushing and feeling so warm and light after that conversation that he couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

Brendon was staying at Ryan's place in the guest room. Ryan's abode was nice and warm, interesting knickknacks adorning the place in odd places with pieces of music or instruments taking their place in each room. Brendon couldn't go anywhere without being bombarded with music and it was nice. There was an obscene amount of art being hung on walls, as well. Of course, there were the four legged creatures who took to Brendon like a moth to a flame. All of Ryan's various-sized pets were sweet and gentle, if not hyper at some points, and Brendon couldn't really complain whenever he saw Ryan's affection radiate off him whenever he was around his animals. Feeding the dogs was an event in and of itself, and Brendon always watched, amused with Ryan's antics with the dogs. 

He was happy to see Ryan so loose-limbed and relaxed. He had never remembered seeing Ryan this content and at ease all of the time. He liked it even more because it didn't change around him. Ryan was this calm and peaceful energy that permeated his own and made his frazzled and overly hyper energy relax and level out into a restful and mellow vibe instead. 

Ryan had shared his music with Brendon, playing his mix-tape and showing his lyrics from his journal. And _fuck_ was Ryan a brilliant writer. His lyrics were refined diamonds still nestled in the rough in hopes of being picked up and used. Of course, he did notice the ones about him from his earlier writing, but as he progressed his lyrics focused less on Brendon and more on the complexity and maturity it took to love someone. Brendon loved them. He praised Ryan and a small pleased expression would settle on Brendon's face when Ryan blushed or became shy at the compliments. It was those moments that Brendon could feel his grip on his heart and mind losing the tightly knit control had had erected when around Ryan. Those small things really made Brendon draw an easier conclusion to where he wanted his relationship with Ryan to end up at. 

Even through the small amount of time that had passed for Brendon temporarily staying with Ryan, it became increasingly difficult to withhold all affections and intimacy. They came from an affectionate bunch of friends who were probably more touchy-feely as friends then Ryan and Brendon were letting themselves be with each other. It was weird for Brendon to be void of all contact he is so used to having unabashedly. There were times when Ryan would have a look of longing and hesitance, but as the perfect gentleman that he was (and a bit self-sacrificing) Ryan never acted upon it. It meant that Brendon had all the control in his hands. He planned to put that control to good use when he finally had enough of the cold turkey cut-off of touch and physical human contact. 

Brendon had woken up one morning with an itch deep under the layers of his skin. It irritated him enough to put him on edge that morning, souring his mood considerably. He knew exactly what it meant and if he were in LA, he would just get into his car and head to Pete and Patrick's for a much needed cuddle session with his best friends. Being in Chicago put a serious damper on that and he knew his only source of potential human contact was currently sacrificing his wants and needs in the bedroom across from his. 

He had Ryan's schedule memorized and waited for the creak of his door to signal him leaving his room. Next would be the obnoxious coffee maker that would be turned on and would wheeze and whir to create the liquid their people lived off of. After his cup of coffee, Ryan would go into the living room and sit on the couch and spend an hour their writing, or not writing depending on his level of inspiration and if the creative juices were flowing. 

When he was sure Ryan was on the couch he got out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a loose shirt before trudging out of his room.His eyes were narrowed and still a bit bleary when he walked into the living room. Sure enough Ryan was on the couch, journal on the arm of it as he scribbled frantically onto the page. He watched him silently as the engrossed man was completely unaware of his surroundings and the presence of other people--specifically those who wanted to cuddle, damn it. 

When Ryan paused for a significant amount of time, Bendon crossed the room and made his presence known. "Hey, Bren-" Ryan was about to say good-naturedly, but was interrupted (cut-off) by the surprise of Brendon dropping himself on the couch right next to him and slumping his head onto his shoulder. "Oh," Ryan breathed out. 

"'Oh,' he says," Brendon grumpily mumbles.

Ryan's writing and journal are long forgotten when he turns into Brendon and helps to re-situate them more comfortably and for Ryan to get just as much out of the random cuddle session as Brendon, with the added bonus of dropping kisses to his temple as often as he wanted. Brendon hummed in content, leaning in eagerly for the bits of attention Ryan bestowed on him.

After a few moments of content silence, Ryan interrupts it, "So, is this a thing now?" 

"It better be," Brendon answers. 

Ryan huffed out a laugh. Brendon could detect his amusement and fondness in the noise. 

They sat there for a bit longer before Brendon's body began vibrating with restlessness. Brendon had to constantly be in motion, or doing something to distract himself. Sitting quietly while cuddling was great, but boring and making him feel confined. 

Ryan nudged him, "Go on, get some coffee and eat before you become even more restless." 

Brendon chuckled, "Still remember my old habits." 

"As if they're easy to forget," Ryan answered, dropping a kiss on Brendon's temple before shoving him away, "Go." 

Brendon did, happily making his way into the kitchen. He looked through the open doorway to see Ryan scribbling into his journal and smiled. Ryan's messy hair was draping over hid forehead in stringy locks. His free hand kept pushing his hair back, but gravity had another idea as the strands slowly slipped down. The sun from the window cast an ethereal aura around him and enhanced his jawline and cheekbones, casting shadows in all the right angles. His hair looked wispy and turned a lighter shade as they bathed in the rays of the sun. The sharp and alluring sight contrasted beautifully with the clothes Ryan was wearing. he was dressed in a loose-fitted, thin t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. The softness and worn look looked amazing on such an aesthetically perfect person. 

He turned back to his coffee, hiding his grin in case Ryan looked up and caught him admiring him from afar. It was one of his favorite past times. Watching Ryan in his natural habitat was always a sight to see. The way he was with his fur babies (four-legged creatures), how he wrote, how he tinkered on the piano when he was lost in thought, or how he strummed at his guitar when coming up with a new melody. Ryan always did everything to his fullest capacity. It went against his very DNA to ever give up. Brendon loved that about him, glad that it hadn't changed. 

He went over to the sink to look out of the window above it to see kids playing in the yard a couple houses down and a young woman walking her dogs on the opposite side of the street. He turned his head and could see and elderly man washing the car while a similarly aged women was on her knees as she gardened. It was a sweet, cookie-cutter little suburb where everything was quiet and peaceful. It's no wonder why Ryan lived here. You could think here without distraction or the annoyance of interrupting noise. Nobody was in your business. It was nice. Peaceful. Quiet. 

Arms intertwined around his waist, startling Brendon out of his musings. 

"What are you thinking about? I could hear you from the living room," Ryan teased, resting his chin on Brendon's shoulder. 

Brendon leaned back easily, "It's quiet here. I like it." 

"I do, too. Nice area to be left alone to your thoughts," his companion agreed. 

"Nice neighborhood," Brendon remarked. 

"Indeed," Ryan said. 

"Good house to settle in," he added. 

Brendon could feel Ryan hesitate, "Yeah,...it is." 

"Maybe even with little rugrats running around, as well," he said. 

"Bren," Ryan whispered. 

Brendon turned around and leaned against the counter, looking at Ryan's kind and overly hopeful eyes, "Ryan, I want long term. I don't want flings, one night stands, or not knowing what my other half wants. For the first time in my life I'm going to be selfish and make sure I get what I want. You're either in or our out." 

Ryan's lips quirked up into a smile, "Please, continue to be selfish if I'm included in these plans." 

"That all depends on you," Brendon said. 

Ryan grinned and leaned in for a sweet kiss, pulling away with a smirk, "As if that's a question."


	2. We'll Have to Make It on Our Own

After their conversation discussing long-term goals, their relationships progressed naturally and quickly. They went out on dates, they had nights in where they cuddled and watched movies, they wrote together, and within a short amount of time passing they were sharing a bed. Ryan was an early riser and was always up before Brendon, but Brendon woke up to the smell of coffee and breakfast like clockwork. Brendon couldn't help but smile and let his body naturally wake up. If he was lucky, he could hear Ryan hum softly to himself. It was a sweet sound that filled Brendon with so much love for the other man that he couldn't help the surge of emotions he had for his partner. When he woke up completely, Brendon would get out of bed and dress in a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt. He'd run his fingers through his hair to detangle the knots that were acquired during the night and brush his teeth before leaving their--cue smile--and padded out into the front room. 

Ryan was dressed in pair of shorts cut-off just below the knee with a loose tank top on. His wavy hair was hanging in front of his face as he was quick at work cooking something on the stove. His arms would flex and twitch with each movement. The sun cast a warm and gentle light on him, dust in the air looking as if it were his energy visibly radiating of of him. Ryan was literally glowing. He could detect the faint humming Ryan was doing. Brendon didn't recognize the tune. 

"Good morning," Brendon said. 

Ryan startled and looked up, composing himself and smiling, "Morning. I made breakfast." 

"I see that. More importantly, you made coffee," Brendon said. 

Ryan smiled, picking up a mug and offered it to him. Brendon crossed the kitchen's entrance and took it, leaning in for a kiss. Ryan eagerly kissed back. Brendon pulled away and smiled at him, "Is breakfast a regular thing? Or is it to lure me in closer so that I settle and then you stop doing it?" 

Ryan faked mock hurt, "As if I would ever not take the chance to treat you well and spoil you to my heart's content." 

"That's what you say now," Brendon said teasingly. 

"You hurt me," Ryan pouted, "is that anyway to treat the man who made you coffee?"

"You're right, I apologize, good sir," Brendon said, playing along. 

"Although it doesn't go unwarranted, I suppose, seeing as how anyone would want to settle with you," Ryan said playfully. 

"Yes, well, only one will get that honor, and I think I may have found the right person," Brendon said. 

"I'm sure they're quite aware of how lucky they are," Ryan said. 

"I think that I am also quite lucky," he said. 

Ryan pulled Brendon in by his hips, looping his fingers in Brendon's belt loops, "I am so in love with you, Brendon." 

Brendon smiled, "I love you just as much." 

"I know it's soon for confessions of love, but damn it Bren, I've waited ten years to reconcile my relationship with you...only in my wildest dreams did I ever think this was a possibility. Now that I have it, it's so much better than those silly dreams. I know you have to leave for LA soon, and I don't want to let anything put a wedge in between us so I'm willing to hire some extra help at the store and move back with you if that's what you want. It's an option, and I want you to consider it. Please consider it," Ryan said. 

Brendon shook his head in mild exasperation and surprise, "You stupid idiot. As if I have to consider it. If it's something you want to do, I'd love to have you in LA with me."

"I'm sure I can afford an apartment down there. I've a lot of money saved up so it shouldn't be too hard to get one," Ryan said, musing to himself. 

"Who said anything about apartments? You'd be living with me, keeping my bed warm and making me coffee and breakfast," Brendon said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Bren," Ryan said, smiling, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. I'm in this a hundred fucking percent, and I want you to live with me. My house is big and lonely, it might not be so with you there." Brendon said, pressing a kiss to Ryan's lips. 

"Okay," Ryan said. 

Two weeks later, Ryan and Brendon were finishing loading the essentials into the moving truck. Ryan had rented out his house to a friend of his and loaded up his dogs in his own car. Brendon was driving the moving truck and they were off to LA. Ryan was equal bits nervous and excited. 

The drive was exhausting. They stopped in Colorado to sleep, and let the dogs get their energy out before hopping back in the car and driving straight to LA. They got there in two and a half days. Ryan was not expecting Brendon's house to be so big and _beautiful_. He forgot that Brendon was relatively successful in the music industry and probably earned at least a six figure salary annually. There was a gate and a round about drive through. It was a bit overwhelming. They parked the cars and Ryan opened his door, and then the back door to let the dogs run free and explore their new home. 

"So, this is your big and lonely home?" Ryan said. 

"Yeah." Brendon said, pulling Ryan into his side and kissing his temple. 

"It's quite beautiful," Ryan said. 

"It is. Would you like to go inside?" Brendon asked. 

"Please," Ryan answered. 

Brendon gave him a tour of the majestic house, showing him the kitchen, music room, office, living room, pool, and then the master bedroom. It was fucking huge. Ryan felt like his floor plan of his house could fit into Brendon's bedroom. It was airy and light with plenty of Southern California sun streaming in golden hues and glowing yellows. Ryan caught sight of the en suite and groaned, "You fucking bastard." 

Brendon laughed, "I'm guessing a bath is in order?"

"There are jets in your bathtub, Brendon Urie! Of course a bath is in order," Ryan said. 

"Does that include me?" Brendon asked with an overused tone of innocence. 

"Only if you stop asking stupid questions," Ryan said, walking back to Brendon and hugging him around his waist, "I'm glad I'm with you." 

"Me too," Brendon said.

"Alright, bath," Ryan said, pulling away and walking up to the spa, starting to run the warm water and plugging it so it would start to fill. He stood up and turned around to see Brendon shirtless and removing his belt from his loops. Ryan was always startled by the aesthetically pleasing aspect of Brendon. He was a gorgeous man now instead of the awkward, lanky, and baby-faced teenager he fell in love with. 

"Ryan?" Brendon asked. 

Ryan looked at Brendon's face and smiled, "Yes, hi." 

Brendon smiled back. 

It was the only exchange needed between them. They both knew where Ryan's thought had traveled too. 

Ryan pulled of his own jacket and shirt, his boots and jeans following the pile of clothes on the floor. Brendon had shut the water off and climbed in, sinking into the water with a content sigh. Ryan lifted himself in and sunk into the warm, borderline hot, water. 

"Sign me up for being a internationally known rock star," Ryan said. 

Brendon laughed, "It does have its perks." 

"And downfalls, I imagine?" Ryan said, looking at Brendon. 

"It often seems that there are more downfalls than perks," Brendon said. 

Ryan made his way over to Brendon, "No cynical thinking."

"I'm a cynic at heart," Brendon said, smiling. 

"You don't think I know that, Debbie-downer?" Ryan teased, playing with Brendon's fingers, "You're so incredibly lucky to be where you are at. It does no good to think ill thoughts about such a fortunate life." 

"I know, I'm quite lucky," Brendon said. 

"Luck had nothing to do with it, it was pure, raw talent," Ryan chastised. 

"Would have been better with you as my own personal Pete Wentz," Brendon said. 

"Are you my Patrick then?" Ryan said. 

"Most definitely," Brendon said. 

"I guess every lead singer needs a guitar player," Ryan teased. 

"You could have been famous," Brendon said. 

"How so?"

"You're a brilliant musician, why didn't you ever try and make it big," Brendon clarified. 

"I am content with my life. I prefer the local scene," Ryan shrugged. 

"Would you be my guitarist if I asked you too?" 

"I'm not sure Bren, that's not an executive decision you can make," Ryan said. 

"What if the guys agreed?" Brendon clarified. 

"Maybe." 

"That's not an answer." 

"You aren't in need of a guitarist." 

"You don't know that."

"I do." 

"Ryan," Brendon whined. 

"I'm not taking someone's role in the band just because I know you and everyone else. I won't pull ranks on them. He's you band mate and friend. It's not fair to him," Ryan said. 

"You suck-up," Brendon said. 

"You don't need to burn bridges on my behalf. He's your guitarist, protect that," Ryan said. 

"I know," Brendon said, resigned. 

After the two men turned into raisins, they got out of the bath and dressed in loose-fitted clothes to relax in and spend the rest of the day being lazy as the drive from the previous days caught up with them. It essentially meant the two ended up on the couch watching movies, cuddling. 

It was a good first day back in LA.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this.


End file.
